Excuse me miss, would you mind if I fell in love with you from far away?
I can never seem to muster up the right words to say.
I've been here, doing the same things, in the same place,
but I've only found peace when I see your face.
I'll talk to you tomorrow, and tell you how I feel,
but right now I'm just not ready to present my appeal.
Right now I'm dealing with a head full of nerves and a fistful of sweat,
and a picture full of curves and potential regrets.
This might be the hardest thing I've had to do yet.
I procrastinate until it's just about too late.
and I just have to settle with "it'll happen if it's really fate"
I don't think you would have said yes anyway...
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Sense of it all...
I'm trying my hardest to make it make sense,
but the pieces don't fit and i'm losing patience.
I'm feeling lost like I don't know where the day went.
I guess it's back to basics.
I wake up with her next to me in the morning.
I want to kiss her lips and taste the words they're forming.
Man she looks beautiful in the clothes she's adorning.
She's leaving and I don't even get a warning...
I remember the last time this happened.
I got second place to fashion
To be honest, I've never been her passion
and now I'm spoken of in the past tense.
I thought I had it all figured out
At first you couldn't find a girl more devout.
I can still see her cute face when she would go into a pout.
But I guess good looks and a great smile aren't all that love is about.
I saw her last night in my dream.
She was wearing my heart on her sleeve
With my tears in her seams...
All I could hope for was an angel to intervene...
that's the last thing that will happen, it would seem...
but the pieces don't fit and i'm losing patience.
I'm feeling lost like I don't know where the day went.
I guess it's back to basics.
I wake up with her next to me in the morning.
I want to kiss her lips and taste the words they're forming.
Man she looks beautiful in the clothes she's adorning.
She's leaving and I don't even get a warning...
I remember the last time this happened.
I got second place to fashion
To be honest, I've never been her passion
and now I'm spoken of in the past tense.
I thought I had it all figured out
At first you couldn't find a girl more devout.
I can still see her cute face when she would go into a pout.
But I guess good looks and a great smile aren't all that love is about.
I saw her last night in my dream.
She was wearing my heart on her sleeve
With my tears in her seams...
All I could hope for was an angel to intervene...
that's the last thing that will happen, it would seem...
To Whom It May Concern Up There...
I'm getting a little lost in thought,
I guess I'll look up at the stars cuz I don't know where to start.
I hope the stars aren't the wrong place to stare
cuz they seem to start to blind those who care.
But maybe it's because they're afraid,
not all of us got it made. Some of us are at the end of our rope,
yet never run out of hope.
We all are yelling to catch your eye,
and begging to ask you why.
or who or when
now, or later, or then
air, ground, paper or pen
whether or not to do this again
where am I going
where have I been
why am I so desperate for a friend...
why do you seem so far away?
why don't you ever finish what you start to say?
can you repeat that?
can you PUT YOUR SEAT BACK?
can I have some more?
wasn't he going on tour?
why do I have more questions than I had before?
what else has life got in store?
after this experience, I believe with all my heart,
that the stars aren't a very good place to start..
I guess I'll look up at the stars cuz I don't know where to start.
I hope the stars aren't the wrong place to stare
cuz they seem to start to blind those who care.
But maybe it's because they're afraid,
not all of us got it made. Some of us are at the end of our rope,
yet never run out of hope.
We all are yelling to catch your eye,
and begging to ask you why.
or who or when
now, or later, or then
air, ground, paper or pen
whether or not to do this again
where am I going
where have I been
why am I so desperate for a friend...
why do you seem so far away?
why don't you ever finish what you start to say?
can you repeat that?
can you PUT YOUR SEAT BACK?
can I have some more?
wasn't he going on tour?
why do I have more questions than I had before?
what else has life got in store?
after this experience, I believe with all my heart,
that the stars aren't a very good place to start..
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
The Seven Day Lesson from a Queen
On day one I learn to talk her talk
She says talk to me
On day two I learn to walk her walk
She says follow me
On day three I learn to write her words
She says remember me
On day Four I learn to hear what she's heard
She says listen to me
On day Five I learn to stand where she's stood
She says help me
On day Six I learn what she never could
She says carry me
On day Seven I learn to feel what she never felt
she says love me...
She says talk to me
On day two I learn to walk her walk
She says follow me
On day three I learn to write her words
She says remember me
On day Four I learn to hear what she's heard
She says listen to me
On day Five I learn to stand where she's stood
She says help me
On day Six I learn what she never could
She says carry me
On day Seven I learn to feel what she never felt
she says love me...
Sunday, July 26, 2009
There Once Was A Girl Named Sara
A while ago I had to write a story for my drama class. It was supposed to be a monologue, which accounts for the lack of real dialog, but it came out as a narrative. I hope you enjoy...
This story is about a girl named Sara.
Sara had a happy childhood, better than most, until her father died. He was always a kind, loving father and every night she went to bed, he read her a poem...
when she felt alone and no one was around,
when she felt like all the chips were down
I was there...
she said I would always be there, and she wasn’t wrong
because when everyone had left her and even I was gone...
still, I was there
One day Sara was at home with her mother watching a movie and her father was out at the store. There was a knock on the door ... it was the police. Sara's father had been killed during a car jacking. Sara's mother, Anna, went into a deep depression for the next four months.
Eventually, she tried to get back into the social world. But after several back to back dead end relationships, Anna took a different route. She met a girl named Rose. Anna became a lesbian with Rose and they began a happy relationship. But it didn’t last as long as Sara would have liked, because she actually liked Rose. Rose left Anna, telling her that the relationship was missing something. Soon after, Anna met Cierra, Sara didnt like her very much but she seemed to make Anna happy. Then one day, Cierra introduced Anna to heroin.
For months, Anna never seemed happier... always smiling, always happy. Then she got fired from her job for slacking so much. Sara seemed to immediately sense trouble. Cierra left on finding out she would no longer have easy access to her addiction. Sara watched her mother slowly decay alive. More and more appliances disappeared, more and more guys came over for short visits. One day Sara came home to find the TV gone. Though she had found so much relief in that school day,(it was her first kiss and she was 14) it was only temporary. Her world crashed in when she opened the door. everything was gone. Including her father. Her eyes watered up as she thought about how he said he'd never leave. She quickly wiped her eyes before a tear could drop and started dinner. She found two eggs in the fridge. That was all. She scrambled and cooked them.
Sara took the two scrambled eggs and brought them to her mother. Her mother was high again, but Sara offered the eggs. Anna told Sara to sit down. She started talking about what a beautiful women Sara was becoming. She stroked Sara's hair and stared into her eyes. Sara got up and tried to leave, but her mother held her back by her long hair. Sara told her mother to stop as she started to stroke her back and forced her head forward for a kiss. Sara snatched her hair away and ran from the room. The next day Sara had her second kiss (with a guy), for ten minutes. She wanted so badly to be distracted. When Sara got home that day, she closed the door, leaned up against it and cried. About ten minutes later, she heard the shattering of glass in her mother’s room. She rushed there to find it empty, a gaping hole where the window used to be. There was a note on the table that read:
im so sory
I owd yu so much beter... jus remember I lve u
when she felt alone and no one was around,
when she felt like all the chips were down
I was there...
she said I would always be there, and she wasn’t wrong
because when everyone had left her and even I was gone...
still, I was there...
Sara stayed in a rundown apartment that she paid for by working at a grocery store and Mcdonalds, until she was 17. She never broke up with her boyfriend (who had given her her first kiss) and when she was 17, he came and took her to his new apartment to live until he could afford a house for them both to live in.
Four years passed somewhat smoothly. But the war the country was in was growing. Eventually, the country had to resort to a most controversial strategy. The military draft. Sara was 4 months pregnant with her boyfriend Michael's child at the time. And they were engaged. A month passed and Sara worried more everyday. No matter what Michael did he could not console her. She couldn't avoid the idea of him leaving her and their coming child. The third month after the draft had started, Michael was called in. Reassured of her worries, Sara stayed in front of the TV watching the news. Everyday she saw the numbers of dead soldiers’ names roll across the bottom of the screen. Every night she cried herself to sleep. The birth date of her child got closer and closer.
One day, two months after Michael had been drafted, there was knock at the door. Michael had been killed in action. He had arranged for there to be a letter sent on event of his death. It said...
Sara, I'm sorry. I wish I could have seen our kid. It’s odd how things seem to play out. Your father died and your mother turned away from you. Well, I guess this is your chance to right her wrongs. Raise our child like I know you can Sara. I love you, and remember...
when you felt alone and no one was around,
when you felt like all the chips were down
I was there...
you said I would always be there, and you weren't wrong
because when everyone had left you and even I was gone...
still, I was there...
Sara clutched the letter to her chest and cried a deep, soul satisfying cry. Two weeks later, Sara delivered a baby girl. She named her Hope.
Hope grew up loved and happy, or as happy as she could be without her father. Sara always spoke highly of him though. From what Hope had heard his name was Michael and he had died in the military. Sara told stories about him every night along with a poem Sara had been told by Hope's grandfather. It went...
when she felt alone and no one was around,
when she felt like all the chips were down
I was there...
she said I would always be there, and she wasn’t wrong
because when everyone had left her and even I was gone...
still, I was there...
Hope was always worried for her mother, she was always sick. They were staying with Michael's family who had happily agreed to have them stay with them indefinitely. One day, when Sara was off work, she went to her room and locked her door. Then, she sat on her bed and thought about her old life. Being at home, alone, surrounded by syringes, hot plates, spoons, filth. Then she remembered her father, how he loved her so much. Then she thought about Michael, and all the small things he used to do for her. She smiled a tearful smile. Tears flowed as she thought about what she would never have again. Then there was a knock at the door. She heard a voice call her name. Light, cheery, girly, happy. "Mom!" And she smiled.
Four months later, Sara died of pneumonia. Hope was fourteen when her mother passed. She grew up living with her father's family, Michael's sister playing her role of an aunt. Hope went to med school and became a surgeon. She is now the best surgeon that hospital has ever had. And every time she treats a child, she reads them a poem that says...
This story is about a girl named Sara.
Sara had a happy childhood, better than most, until her father died. He was always a kind, loving father and every night she went to bed, he read her a poem...
when she felt alone and no one was around,
when she felt like all the chips were down
I was there...
she said I would always be there, and she wasn’t wrong
because when everyone had left her and even I was gone...
still, I was there
One day Sara was at home with her mother watching a movie and her father was out at the store. There was a knock on the door ... it was the police. Sara's father had been killed during a car jacking. Sara's mother, Anna, went into a deep depression for the next four months.
Eventually, she tried to get back into the social world. But after several back to back dead end relationships, Anna took a different route. She met a girl named Rose. Anna became a lesbian with Rose and they began a happy relationship. But it didn’t last as long as Sara would have liked, because she actually liked Rose. Rose left Anna, telling her that the relationship was missing something. Soon after, Anna met Cierra, Sara didnt like her very much but she seemed to make Anna happy. Then one day, Cierra introduced Anna to heroin.
For months, Anna never seemed happier... always smiling, always happy. Then she got fired from her job for slacking so much. Sara seemed to immediately sense trouble. Cierra left on finding out she would no longer have easy access to her addiction. Sara watched her mother slowly decay alive. More and more appliances disappeared, more and more guys came over for short visits. One day Sara came home to find the TV gone. Though she had found so much relief in that school day,(it was her first kiss and she was 14) it was only temporary. Her world crashed in when she opened the door. everything was gone. Including her father. Her eyes watered up as she thought about how he said he'd never leave. She quickly wiped her eyes before a tear could drop and started dinner. She found two eggs in the fridge. That was all. She scrambled and cooked them.
Sara took the two scrambled eggs and brought them to her mother. Her mother was high again, but Sara offered the eggs. Anna told Sara to sit down. She started talking about what a beautiful women Sara was becoming. She stroked Sara's hair and stared into her eyes. Sara got up and tried to leave, but her mother held her back by her long hair. Sara told her mother to stop as she started to stroke her back and forced her head forward for a kiss. Sara snatched her hair away and ran from the room. The next day Sara had her second kiss (with a guy), for ten minutes. She wanted so badly to be distracted. When Sara got home that day, she closed the door, leaned up against it and cried. About ten minutes later, she heard the shattering of glass in her mother’s room. She rushed there to find it empty, a gaping hole where the window used to be. There was a note on the table that read:
im so sory
I owd yu so much beter... jus remember I lve u
when she felt alone and no one was around,
when she felt like all the chips were down
I was there...
she said I would always be there, and she wasn’t wrong
because when everyone had left her and even I was gone...
still, I was there...
Sara stayed in a rundown apartment that she paid for by working at a grocery store and Mcdonalds, until she was 17. She never broke up with her boyfriend (who had given her her first kiss) and when she was 17, he came and took her to his new apartment to live until he could afford a house for them both to live in.
Four years passed somewhat smoothly. But the war the country was in was growing. Eventually, the country had to resort to a most controversial strategy. The military draft. Sara was 4 months pregnant with her boyfriend Michael's child at the time. And they were engaged. A month passed and Sara worried more everyday. No matter what Michael did he could not console her. She couldn't avoid the idea of him leaving her and their coming child. The third month after the draft had started, Michael was called in. Reassured of her worries, Sara stayed in front of the TV watching the news. Everyday she saw the numbers of dead soldiers’ names roll across the bottom of the screen. Every night she cried herself to sleep. The birth date of her child got closer and closer.
One day, two months after Michael had been drafted, there was knock at the door. Michael had been killed in action. He had arranged for there to be a letter sent on event of his death. It said...
Sara, I'm sorry. I wish I could have seen our kid. It’s odd how things seem to play out. Your father died and your mother turned away from you. Well, I guess this is your chance to right her wrongs. Raise our child like I know you can Sara. I love you, and remember...
when you felt alone and no one was around,
when you felt like all the chips were down
I was there...
you said I would always be there, and you weren't wrong
because when everyone had left you and even I was gone...
still, I was there...
Sara clutched the letter to her chest and cried a deep, soul satisfying cry. Two weeks later, Sara delivered a baby girl. She named her Hope.
Hope grew up loved and happy, or as happy as she could be without her father. Sara always spoke highly of him though. From what Hope had heard his name was Michael and he had died in the military. Sara told stories about him every night along with a poem Sara had been told by Hope's grandfather. It went...
when she felt alone and no one was around,
when she felt like all the chips were down
I was there...
she said I would always be there, and she wasn’t wrong
because when everyone had left her and even I was gone...
still, I was there...
Hope was always worried for her mother, she was always sick. They were staying with Michael's family who had happily agreed to have them stay with them indefinitely. One day, when Sara was off work, she went to her room and locked her door. Then, she sat on her bed and thought about her old life. Being at home, alone, surrounded by syringes, hot plates, spoons, filth. Then she remembered her father, how he loved her so much. Then she thought about Michael, and all the small things he used to do for her. She smiled a tearful smile. Tears flowed as she thought about what she would never have again. Then there was a knock at the door. She heard a voice call her name. Light, cheery, girly, happy. "Mom!" And she smiled.
Four months later, Sara died of pneumonia. Hope was fourteen when her mother passed. She grew up living with her father's family, Michael's sister playing her role of an aunt. Hope went to med school and became a surgeon. She is now the best surgeon that hospital has ever had. And every time she treats a child, she reads them a poem that says...
Building on a Floor of Ice
The wind’s been blowing harder since I came into this town
A ghost town
There’s no one else around
The desert sand is drifting through the air
I close my eyes
Far from home, where no one cares
Water is a lifetime away and so is help
But she keeps me driven
If only seen in my dreams and no where else
The air’s gotten thinner since I began to climb this mountain
Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink
Not exactly like sipping from a fountain
But I’ve got plenty time to think
I see her sometimes through the snowstorms
But I blink and she’s gone again
I love her and wonder if she’s no more
But I think she’ll come home again
One day…
The rain’s gotten harder since I set sail
I grab the charm that’s never failed
The necklace I clutch to my chest
reminds me of my regrets
No way I can forget
I see death in front of me
But I’m more afraid to look back
I know for a fact
That his embrace will be warmer than that
I close my eyes
I see her face
Here comes the embrace…
All I have to do now is wait…
It’s been a lot colder since I’ve been without you…
A ghost town
There’s no one else around
The desert sand is drifting through the air
I close my eyes
Far from home, where no one cares
Water is a lifetime away and so is help
But she keeps me driven
If only seen in my dreams and no where else
The air’s gotten thinner since I began to climb this mountain
Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink
Not exactly like sipping from a fountain
But I’ve got plenty time to think
I see her sometimes through the snowstorms
But I blink and she’s gone again
I love her and wonder if she’s no more
But I think she’ll come home again
One day…
The rain’s gotten harder since I set sail
I grab the charm that’s never failed
The necklace I clutch to my chest
reminds me of my regrets
No way I can forget
I see death in front of me
But I’m more afraid to look back
I know for a fact
That his embrace will be warmer than that
I close my eyes
I see her face
Here comes the embrace…
All I have to do now is wait…
It’s been a lot colder since I’ve been without you…
Real Being the Perception
Reality seems to be careless
never neglectful but
how could it be that there let
lie a pained man cry
a dying woman die
just to get a glance of eyes
and why
need there be an epidemic for
the world to go to war
against the right guy
the right enemies stares us in the eye
yet we let him pass us by and turn around and try
to assist him in his endeavors
but why
so reality says that this is the way it works
this is how much it hurts
this is when you give birth
this is your empty church
this joy will be your first
and this one your last
reality is past,
present and future
in an elegant stupor
so brilliant we see the light from within like it gets in our skin
and turns our blood
as we're newly akin
to this being we are
this pain we feel
this person by far
whose scars will not heal
but these bars will not deal
with the problems we face
they will not change place
they will not change pace
on point like an ace
our problems will persist
and so must we
and never will the world be free
never a great man i might be
but always a great hand you will see
because sadly enough the is the curse over me.
i wish i knew what i fight for anymore
maybe...
Peace...
never neglectful but
how could it be that there let
lie a pained man cry
a dying woman die
just to get a glance of eyes
and why
need there be an epidemic for
the world to go to war
against the right guy
the right enemies stares us in the eye
yet we let him pass us by and turn around and try
to assist him in his endeavors
but why
so reality says that this is the way it works
this is how much it hurts
this is when you give birth
this is your empty church
this joy will be your first
and this one your last
reality is past,
present and future
in an elegant stupor
so brilliant we see the light from within like it gets in our skin
and turns our blood
as we're newly akin
to this being we are
this pain we feel
this person by far
whose scars will not heal
but these bars will not deal
with the problems we face
they will not change place
they will not change pace
on point like an ace
our problems will persist
and so must we
and never will the world be free
never a great man i might be
but always a great hand you will see
because sadly enough the is the curse over me.
i wish i knew what i fight for anymore
maybe...
Peace...
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